[Kawaiso is Nukeru (Nukeru)] (Rape Sareta) Tsumugi-chan o Hagemasu-kai [Chinese] [Digital]

I was reading that idea about amputating the wife with continous abortions and I gotta say... even I was disgusted by what I wrote. What the fuck is wrong with this guy? Then 'oh wait, he's me'. Jesus fuck it was grotesque even by my standards. The fuck kinda drug was I on when I wrote that. What the fuck?

I can't exactly copy 305301 but I think I could write a full story in modern setting of a similar Bridgette/Lucas situation. But the image for this ain't forming. How strange, ain't it? Well... I'm in no rush. It'll come.

The depressing and soul-crushing truth is, as a human I have reached my 'fork in the road' as Robert Frost might put it and I have to make a decision. I would never be a video editor or writer. It is time to face the facts. In the economy, in this society, it is not about practicality but whether I can make a career of it. And the answer is no. So the best I can hope for is the depressing fate of Franz Kafka. But the strange thing that came from writing and video editing is, there's that miraculous moment it all comes together and a full work is complete. An image in my mind- and it is created, whether in the form of words or videography. I managed to do it once. And that's incredible. Therefore, the next step- can I form the image of Julie into a comprehensive story that Haruki Murakami might do? But he and I are different people. I cannot copy his style, even if I like it. And my style... is to form the threads from the image. Strangely enough, it has worked out. Strangely enough.

I like the idea of imbedded narratives. The way Frankenstein had multiple narrators, each to tell their tale and somehow manages to interwove and tell a cohesive tale. I also find it interesting how Agatha Christie manages to one of the most prolific and popular mystery novelist of all time and yet is so dogshit. But her method of working backwards from an end-goal of people on an island dying and going from the end all the way to page 1 is fascinating tho. I had a very vivid image that came to mind from 209214 and 305301 the moment I finished reading. And for this, it was the intense image of Lucas fucking the decapitated throat of Bridgette while his mother was on the bed like an lifeless puppet, strings cut- and all that. So I worked in reverse and 30~ segments are written.

Now, after all this time I suddenly have like~ 3 images that fucking formed in my head that I need to get out. 1. The image of Shane tiresomely treading the winter snow (like I did) up a steep hill, toward a weeping willow tree toward Lucas, sitting against the trunk. I believe this is the end goal. 2. Lucas and the skinning Julie/pulling heart out to eat situation that I've written but I don't know how to weave the threads my brain has formed. 3. The cyclical nature of human- Lucas can never escape his nature. How can he escape what he is? Lucas, once an innocent boy despised Bridgette with his all yet when she passed, he is still held captive. Even when he finds a new family to confide in, he is tainted. He is still in the clutches of Bridgette's grasp. He can never truly escape. History repeats itself. He tries to escape his past and yet, he witnesses his oldest son.... (imma skip)- raping his younger daughter. No wait, there's a 4. He needs to kill. The image is almost forming.

I have this idea brewing in my mind about how to finally and properly end the fanfiction of 305301. It never felt adequate, previous ending. It was too fast, too different from the writing style of the previous one- to use Frankenstein's style of imbedded narrative, it was like it had became a different story. Therefore. I think the only way to do it is simply... use Naoki Urasawa's approach. Tell a story but breaking it into arcs. It's the Johan/Chrollo Lucifer approach that I admire- to write a compelling character without revealing everything. The actions are what determine who the character is, but the motivations must always remain allusive. Haruki Murakami's characters reveal everything but its the surrounding characters and situation that make it strangely compelling. Truly Kafkaesque. In other words... show, but don't explain.

Manga Idea- a man falls in love with his wife at ~40 years old after both of them underwent divorces. He wishes he could have met his wife earlier because before meeting her, he was depressed. Even his previous marriage went with a 'go with the flow' attitude as an arranged marriage that it seemed miraculous he'd meet his true love at 40. After he had given up all hope. His wife is the same age as him which makes having another child problematic but still- they're hopeful. For the one year of their marriage, he feels gratitude to the heavens above even if it took him 40 years to get to this point. 'If only I met Haru earlier...' this thought came to him on the way to road. Not looking at where he was looking, he tripped on a crack on the floor, fell forwards towards oncoming traffic and bashed his head onto the concrete ground, his lifeless body run over by a truck. He died instantly. The end. (1)

OR so it would appear. He is reborn as his younger self and first thing he does is find his wife. Long story short, they get together as teens but in another life- another timeline. Haru- his wife is attending her husband's funeral. She loses all appetite, sitting in the empty apartment Taki and her shared. She makes herself an omelette but without realising, prepared another serving for her husband, placing it on the table for an empty seat. Without realising, she drew a heart shape squeezed from the ketchup bottle as she always prepared for Taki. With no one left, it feels so quiet. 'I miss you...' she mutters under her breath, 'why did you have to leave me? After I finally met you.' A single tear trickles down her cheeks, landing on her omelette, and with each bite the salty flavour makes her cry even harder. (2)

Fortunate for him, somehow he loved so fondly is close to him once more. Unfortunately for him, an Oedipus complex arises. His fondest memories as an infant was suckling on Julice's supple breasts. As he ages, he gains the desire to have sex with his mother. It's a conflicting desire that burns tragically in Joni. The desire to protect his beloved mother and the desire to hold her in his arms and penetrating her insides. Alright- Imma stop or it'll go forever. (2)

Manga idea boiling in my skull. Isekai reincarnation cliche. There's 4 different lives. It starts at life 4. Each life is in a different setting. Each life reincarnates the same few people to somehow get 'attracted/drawn' him in each life. The plot twist is in life 1, he's a killer who murdered 3 victims for 3 different reasons. And in each subsequent life, the curse causes him to get killed by each victim. But Joni only vaguely recalls memories of his past lives when . He recalls a girl in his previous life kissing him on his forehead. She had ashen-blonde hair that flowed onto his cheeks. The vague recollection of his past life ascends to the surface of his mind like a small bubble floating to the surface. He recalls her hazel-nut eyes and staring at it longingly. In his past life, Julice was his spouse- his lifelong partner that he swore to protect til his death. And in this life, his mother. And the solemn promise that continues through the life. (1)

"I" Buddy boys on a pornographic power trip

Next simple doujin idea- a father loses his wife who died during childbirth and swears to protect the child no matter what it takes. The daughter grows up and the more he looks at the daughter, the more she looks like her mom. He knows that he shouldn't but he misses his wife so dearly that he can't take it anymore. She falls in love with someone else and he fears she gets taken away. And so, the natural thing to do is make it so she can't leave. He runs his fingers through her hair and cums inside, her pussy tightening so much its like his dick is being ripped apart every time he moves, tightening from the pain of having her limbs getting amputated. All four are gone, making it so she can never leave or get hurt in the dangerous outside world. Soon after, she gets pregnant but he gets nightmares of her dying at childbirth like her mother did so he forcefully aborts the baby. Over. And Over. And Over again. Each aborted fetus a piece of her mind slipping away.

What if- there was a doujin called 'No Pedo No Life'. It's just as it sounds. A kind-hearted man is kidnapped in a Saw-like situation and before him is a girl bounded on all fours, blindfolded. The TV flickers on and a twin-tailed girl says 'I want to play a Game. Before you is a virgin who is 12 years old. If you do not rape her, I will never let you both out and you will surely die. If you do rape her, I will send a videotape of you raping an underaged girl to the police and you will never see the light of day. She would need to seek psychiatric treatment but she will live. Choose wisely.' Now- the plot twist is, similar to the actual ending of Saw... the 12 year old girl being raped was the same girl in the TV. She's like Johan. But instead of making people killers, she makes people pedophiles.

这本子TM有大病吧